on Nothing

sometimes i forget to notice and be curious about Nothing.

as a creative/builders/maker/doer i get wrapped up in that sweet unrelenting swirl of exciting energy that fuels figuring out what the next step, finding that next action i can take.

thinking that every next move, the perpetual flow is some sort of signal when in reality, can lead to easily delude myself that the noise and diversionary actions i’m taking is simply to escape the quiet, to create more noise so i don’t have to deal with the silence of a pause.

not every comment deserves a response

not all questions demand an answer

and most thoughts do not require engagement

i’ll admit, the first 5 to 10 minutes of sitting down and letting the Nothing approach drives me mad. the pull of my phone to scroll mindlessly to numb it, or turn on “ambiance” so i can do anything but listen to the constant tumbling of thoughts, like the sound of coins in the dryer.

but letting it go soon surprises me, and i become detached from the noise of my thoughts. what’s helped immensely is no trick of monks hiding away in the himalayas, or “meditation practice”

it’s just being curious, and thinking in questions while the thoughts drip in, plus just forcing the limitation of not doing anything.

sometimes i just notice how my arm tenses up and relaxes when i detect its trying to find my phone.

or the traffic outside, or how my apartment building seems to have a life of its own.

or even the occasional oddity of just how quiet it can be sometimes in the city...

sometimes i forget that the opposite of constant action isn’t planning or prepping the next move. it’s just Nothing.

and the best part is, you can’t do Nothing wrong.